It is a rare occurrence one gets to read another person's journal. This probably has something to do with the fact that writing your darkest thoughts and secrets are best hidden in... well, your own privacy. This journal is different. It was submitted by our friend who wanted to share his story. It is a different story, a story our parents warned us about. Original author will not be named, all names used will be fictional.


MAY 1992

As a fifteen-year-old boy, I'm attending the first year of high-school. This period turned out to be one of the most painful periods of my life. I lived with my father, mother, older brother and much younger sister in a small apartment block in a small town near Celje. You could say I was kind of a shy and reserved boy back then, focused only on sports and studying. Thus, my group of friends wasn't particularly extensive. Everything changed so suddenly. I had to deal with the news that my dad was opening a new bakery in Gorenjska.

He'd bring the whole family there - to a totally different part of the country. Of course, I wasn't even remotely ready to give up on life I created in Celje. So I sat down with my dad like the most confident 15-year-old ever and expressed myself, mano-a-mano. After a good hour of talking he eventually folded. He let me have the apartment by myself. Supposedly I could do a better job in high-school this way.


"Writing this journal now, I can see how wrong he was."


 


JUNE 15, 1992

The family decides to move to Gorenjska, leaving me behind. So, I’m a fifteen-year-old kid in a big apartment, all by myself. What happens next? Pretending to be an adult quickly backfires and school turns out to be the first victim of my not-readiness. It all takes a turn for the worse when I find a roommate - my cousin who is just starting to work in the nearby hotel.

Our lives start to get entangled and I end up being a frequent after-school guest at the hotel's pub. Absences from school start to accumulate, mornings become middays. With time, the happy hours get longer and longer. It quickly becomes a habit to drink until the casino closes.


"While my classmates were starting with their first school hour, I was having unprotected sex with strangers."


The endless void of not having any responsibilities keeps getting filled with the attention of girls. They often become an element of our after parties at the apartment. While my classmates were starting with their first school hour, I was having unprotected sex with strangers. The short-term joys smoothly infiltrated into my daily routine, and when you are merely a confused 15-year-old, things can go downhill pretty fast. 

It still befuddles me how could I had even finished the first year of high-school. With great effort, I barely managed to pass under the bar.

By Joze, edited on 06 June 2018